As I was walking by a pond in upstate New York recently, the dragonflies were mesmerizing. I love insects and these were among the most beautiful dragonflies I had ever seen, quite unlike any others. But the dragonflies also revealed a vein of competition within me, which I know well, a subtle categorizing and hierarchy of best, better, worst, and less than. Without realizing it, I was holding a Dragonfly Beauty Pageant in my mind.

Absurd as it is, it made me think about how insidious competition is in our lives and culture. And of course, money is used as one of the primary means of competing and comparing. “Keeping up with the Joneses” is not about having enough, it’s about having as much as those around us. How much is your sense of having enough influenced by those you live near, work with, and are friends with?

Why do we give so much weight to competition? We learn early to gauge our success and worth by comparing ourselves to others. This is a disservice to our own unique gifts and challenges, and is a guarantee for unhappiness. To use a current example, the hurricanes show us how quickly our ground can be obliterated, how our circumstances can change arbitrarily, and what matters most.

I would like to live the rest of my life comparing and competing as little as possible, and supporting and being supported as much as possible.