Cultivating Generosity

Daily I’m more and more appreciative of the kindness and generosity of others. The tech support person who truly listens, and solves the problem. The acquaintance who gives me a spontaneous hug. A friend’s well-informed guidance on ways to take political action. An invitation to dinner. Ordinary generosity is taking on extraordinary dimensions these days: a kind word, oranges brought to a meeting, a hand-written note.

In a culture of increasing divisiveness, fear and uncertainty, kindness and generosity are balm for the heart. I am especially grateful to be co-hosting a webinar series, “Giver, Receiver, Gift: The Spiritual Practice of Money,” with Linda Ruth Cutts through the San Francisco Zen Center. Buddhism has much to teach about the interconnection of life, our attachments, and how to cultivate generosity.

Now, more than ever, is a good time to practice generosity with ourselves, others and in our relationship to money.

Published 2/8/17

On Giving: The Pope’s Advice on Panhandling

When I returned home from the grocery store my husband told me that my wallet had been found. It was lost and found in the same moment, I hadn’t even known it was missing. Antonio had come across it on the street where I’d loaded groceries into the car. He called AAA (my membership card was in the wallet), to get my phone number.

The next day I placed a $20 bill on the pages of the open book a homeless woman was reading. Seeing her sitting on a bench in the sun warmed my heart. A few minutes later Antonio came to mind and his saying, “We all need each other” when I’d called to thank him. His gift of returning my wallet was inspiring my gifting others. It was contagious.

The Pope recently said that giving to the needy is “always right.” According to a NYT article, he said that giving in a way that retains dignity is as important as the gift. We need to look the person in the eye and see them as human.

In light of the increasing needs of so many, we will be repeatedly called on to stretch our capacity for generosity. What opens your wallet? What inspires you to give money or to give of yourself in other ways?

Published 3/25/17

Giver, Receiver, Gift

We are in the midst of what has become the season of giving and receiving. Giving and receiving are big business, especially this month. There’s a year-end pressure to buy gifts for family and friends, and to donate. The “asks” from nonprofits are overflowing in our mail and email boxes. It’s easy, and sometimes appropriate, to be cynical and dismissive of this hard sell. But I also know of the benefit and pleasure that comes from offering money, even small sums, to help people and causes.

What brings you pleasure in giving to charities and those in need? Why do you give? What are you feeling as you write the check or click the donate button? Does the amount you give matter? If so, in what way? How do you decide what causes and organizations to give to? Do you expect something in return? Do you like your gifts publicly recognized? If so, why? How much does the current tax write off influence your giving?

Giver, receiver, and gift are wrapped together as one in Buddhism, they cannot be separated. There is no giver without a receiver and no receiver without a giver. When we are giving, we are also simultaneously receiving. When we are receiving, we are also giving. The gift itself is equally integral and important. As a board member of several non-profits I know that the gift of money is an expression of generosity of spirit as well as of funds. Giving is a response to what is needed in the world, it sustains organizations and individuals. Donations, symbolizing the givers’ recognition of the value of the work being done, also create a community of support that goes way beyond dollars and cents.

There really is no one season of giving as we are giving and receiving daily. Without labeling it as giving/receiving that is what we are doing in the ordinary activities of listening attentively to another, cooking a meal for someone in need, buying a cup of tea for a friend, paying a provider for their services, feeding wild birds, and a myriad mix of other gestures of connection. Giving money is an important act but not to be confused with giving of ourselves, our time, our thoughtfulness, our taking action in the world. As Maya Angelou wrote in Letter to My Daughter:

That day, I learned that I could be a giver by simply bringing a smile to another person. The ensuing years have taught me that a kind word, a vote of support is a charitable gift. I can move over and make another place for someone. I can turn my music up if it pleases, or down if it is annoying. I may never be known as a philanthropist, but I certainly am a lover of mankind, and I will give freely of my resources.

May your giving and receiving be fulfilling this holiday season.

Published 12/19/17