Money is full of drama. There are endless situations and events involving money that evoke vivid emotional responses within us. Preparing and paying taxes is one of them. Most money dramas are private situations and though they may involve others, they are particular to ourselves. But tax season is a collective drama—trauma, for some—where we are all simultaneously taking an accounting of money in our lives.

A few questions to better recognize and understand your tax time drama:

What’s hard for you about taxes – is it the preparation and having to look at what you’ve earned? Or do you angst over paying it? And if the payment bothers you is it because you don’t having enough to cover the tax bill or because it just feels wrong to send off so much of your hard earned money to the government?

If you file jointly, what emotions get played out between the two of you during tax season? Is there tension, yelling or crying? What are the dynamics about who deals with the taxes and who doesn’t? Does your relationship feel particularly unsteady or off balance during tax season?

How was tax time in your house growing up? Were there conversations about it? Were there unstated but felt feelings? Do you remember who you learned about taxes from? Can you see one of your parents at their desk or the kitchen table with boxes of receipts, like I can?

If you suffer during tax time take a look at your answers to the questions above and pinpoint your anxieties. Then:

• Remember to breathe as you are doing your taxes. Spread out the tasks so you aren’t overwhelmed at the last minute.
• Talk with friends and/or professionals about your feelings. Anxiety responds best to being acknowledged and understood. It’s only when we identify it that we can figure out how to take care of it.
• Do you need help with any of the concrete aspects of taxes such as record keeping, preparing, or paying them? If so, figure out how to get the assistance you need.
• See if you can watch the drama from the audience a bit more, from a new angle, to find a new perspective.

“Taxman” by the Beatles
Let me tell you how it will be
There’s one for you, nineteen for me
Cos I’m the taxman, yeah, I’m the taxman